No matter how much you try to keep your online interactions to a minimum, texting is a communication method that’s been engrained into our millennial minds. So it goes without saying that after a particularly rough breakup, the ex girlfriend and ex boyfriend text messages will flow through you like hate flowing through Emperor Palpatine. Whether you want them to come back to your loving arms, or you want them to fall in a ditch, check out this list of texts from exes that really got them put in their place. Maybe you’ve been waiting for inspiration to strike so you can tell off your own no-good dirty cheat of an ex. If so, feel free to rip these funny dating texts responses right from the list! How do you deal with an unwanted message from an ex flame? Has anyone ever insulted your approach by shutting you down via text? Why won’t you return my texts, Brian? I know you’re back with that beige cardigan and it’s been two years, but come on. Don’t do me like this. Remember how we used to laugh? Brian, don’t do this. Please. Brian. Respond.
Shut Down in Less Than Three Words
Best Present Ever!
Is It You, Satan?
Is He Even Serious with That Line?!
Conversation Over, Bye!
….And Worms, and Pond Scum, and Boogers, and…
Your “Friend,” Huh?
That’s a Sad Auto Response
Peace Out, Babyd*ck
But What If He Lives on the First Floor?
Hope Their Standards Are Higher Now
Now I Can’t Eat Baby Carrots
That’s Not Love, That’s… Something Else
No Netflix for Him
She Turned the Heat on Real Quick
That Escalated Quickly
Maybe He Should Be More Specific
It Seems Like He Should Have Seen That Coming…
Plot Twist: Joey Is Her Ex’s Dad
That Smiley Face Makes It
Ever Feel the Kind of Love That Burns?
What a Riot!
Maybe They’re Youtubers?
April Fools Is the Worst Holiday for Lovers
The Feeling Is Mutual!
He Realized His Joke Was Ill-Timed Pretty Quickly
This Person Has the Patience of a Saint
That Had to Hurt
Straight to the Point!
This Person Is Duller Than a Bag of Hammers